We are one month in and we are doing well, all things considered. Henry's blood sugar continues to fluctuate quite a bit, but we have continued to be lucky in that we haven't had any scary lows or highs. Diabetes has truly become our new normal and a part of the routine. We get up and check our blood sugar, administer insulin, and check blood sugar again in two hours, and repeat for the rest of the day.
Josh and I have had a lot of questions thrown at us from family and friends. We can't imagine what is going through everyone's heads! There are so many mixed perceptions of what type one diabetes is and isn't. Much of what people know of diabetes is about type two diabetes, so we are frequently asked if controlling his diet would "fix" the problem, if he will grow out of it in time, if he is better yet, did the insulin and hospital stay"fix" the problem.
Of course the heartbreaking answer to all these questions is no.
We pray with all our being that this could be the future! That a diabetes diagnosis only requires a quick fix and/or a hospital stay, or perhaps the installation of a simple device to replace cells in the pancreas. Please continue to pray with us that this is the future for ALL people with diabetes.
That all being said many people that do understand the difference between type one and type two diabetes often have a bleak picture painted in their heads of what life with diabetes must be like, or what Henry's future will be. Many of these same people got their view of what type one diabetes is from a 1980's Julia Robert's in Steel Magnolia, and imagine him needing a kidney transplant, and eventually collapsing from low blood sugar and kidney failure.
I know when he was first diagnosed I wanted to have my Sally Field crying fit, because that was also the future I imagined for my baby due to limited information. But in all things education is key to dispelling ignorance and misconceptions, it is key to having a future, and through education we have discovered that Henry will NEVER have a future like Julia Roberts if we keep his blood sugar controlled and teach him how to control it himself. We have discovered AMAZING tech that makes managing diabetes less painful and more precise and we will be receiving it very soon! I can't wait to share our new tech with all of you very soon!
In conclusion we have learned to have hope for a better life than Sally Field and Julia Roberts can offer, and pray for a future that many wish we currently had.
Wednesday, September 30, 2015
Friday, September 4, 2015
Truly Brave
***It is my opinion that feelings don't belong on the internet, but in the interest of creating awareness, honoring Henry's struggle, and seeking support; here we go!***
Every weekend I have been a mother, I have cooked with abandon on the weekends! Breakfast every morning: biscuits, waffles, pancakes, coffee cakes, muffins, are just some of the delectable morsels we create. The kids help, we make a mess, and we sing along with whatever music is on. We don't have time during the week, so these treats and this time are a true delight for my family. They gobble them with vigor and enthusiasm as soon as they are old enough to chew. It fills me with pride and joy to watch my family enjoy the food I lovingly prepare. In our house and in my larger extended family; food equals love.
For the first time in my life food does not equal love, food equals fear. The simple act of eating my lovingly prepared breakfast could kill my two year old Henry.
For months Henry had been eating these breakfasts and without me knowing they were making him more sick each time he ate.
I am raked with guilt that I did not notice him becoming sick sooner, but the good news is that I caught it before damage was done.
Henry was diagnosed at two years old on August 19th, 2015 with type one diabetes after I called the doctor to report that he was wetting through diapers overly frequently, and complaining of unquenchable thirst every day for two weeks. I was called at work, where I teach, in the middle of class by my pediatrician with the news. I held it together long enough to finish the lesson and see my students out the door, before I called my husband to tell him the news. We needed to go to the Children's hospital an hour away immediately to begin treatment and learn the dreaded "new normal."
Henry was unaware that we were going to the hospital or why, he was just happy to eat his lunch and take a nap in the back seat of the car.
When we got there he was less than pleased. Two weeks, almost to the day, Henry had stayed at this same hospital for five days while he healed from a MRSA infection, which we now know is related to his diabetes. During his last stay he was in a lot of pain from a large infection and had to have an IV. Before this visit, his last words to the nursing staff were, "Don't touch me!" Poor Henry had been through enough, but the sad truth is that his infection is the tip of the iceberg in terms of what he will have to endure the rest of his life as a diabetic.
The staff at this children's hospital are excellent, they spoke soothing words, about how awesome I am for calling the pediatrician and picking up on his odd behaviors, and how lucky we are that Henry wasn't extremely sick like their average diagnosed person. They spoke of how everything they will teach us in the next couple of days will become the new normal, and Henry will never know a world where he doesn't receive insulin with every meal. This will make our transition and lives so much easier than your average diagnosed juvenile.
Yank. Yank. The last thing I wanted to hear was that my child will never know a life without insulin! The last thing I wanted to hear is how lucky I am! The last thing I wanted to hear was that 10 pokes and prick a day will be the new normal! What I wanted to hear was that they had made a mistake, or that the doctor sent us as a precaution, but we don't really have diabetes!
I know the words I am about to choose sound juvenile, but this was all so unfair! No kid deserves to go through this, least of all my son who has a smile for everyone, and not a care in the world. He is kind, sure of himself, thinks everyone is a friend, and oh so loving!
I wanted nothing to do with this! I wanted to blink my eyes and have this be over. I felt helpless and cowardly for wishing my troubles away. The first night in the hospital I held my sleeping precious baby, and prayed, begged, and cried to the Mother of Perpetual Help. I mostly asked for strength and courage because it was what I needed in order to have hope that everything was going to be ok, but I would be lying if I said I didn't ask the Merciful Father to take Henry's suffering away, and ask for comfort.
Two days later my prayers were answered. God didn't take away the diabetes but He gave me the strength I needed though , and showed me how truly brave my little guy is. We had just got home from two days of training in the hospital and we were doubting if we could handle all the care that was required of us. Could we prick his precious fingers, and put shots in his adorable chubby thighs without nurses to help us through the hard parts? Could we be brave enough to do it on our own?
The first time we got out the blood glucose meter, without asking, Henry held out a finger. "Ouchy?" he inquired. "Yes, ouchie.", I replied. Yet he continued to offer me his outstretched hand. He is the bravest two year old I ever met. He trusted that,
a. I knew what I was doing, and
b. That I wasn't hurting him without a purpose.
c. He trusted I had a reason, a plan
He doesn't let diabetes fill him with fear. Through every insulin shot and blood sugar check he bravely offers up his ouchie for a kiss, and doesn't shed a tear. Henry trusts.
I can not say I have been as brave. During this ordeal I have questioned God's plan for my family, my Sweetie, even my own life. I have questioned his purpose in making my child suffer, and I sincerely doubted he knew what he was doing in giving me a kid with "handle with care" directions. I am still struggling emotionally and spiritually with our diagnosis, but as all diabetic mother's must do, I will keep calm and carry insulin, continue to pray, and watch the example of my innocents.
What I need to take away is Henry's lesson in being truly brave, and trust that my Father has a purpose and a plan in allowing diabetes in our life, even if it hurts.
Every weekend I have been a mother, I have cooked with abandon on the weekends! Breakfast every morning: biscuits, waffles, pancakes, coffee cakes, muffins, are just some of the delectable morsels we create. The kids help, we make a mess, and we sing along with whatever music is on. We don't have time during the week, so these treats and this time are a true delight for my family. They gobble them with vigor and enthusiasm as soon as they are old enough to chew. It fills me with pride and joy to watch my family enjoy the food I lovingly prepare. In our house and in my larger extended family; food equals love.
For the first time in my life food does not equal love, food equals fear. The simple act of eating my lovingly prepared breakfast could kill my two year old Henry.
For months Henry had been eating these breakfasts and without me knowing they were making him more sick each time he ate.
I am raked with guilt that I did not notice him becoming sick sooner, but the good news is that I caught it before damage was done.
Henry was diagnosed at two years old on August 19th, 2015 with type one diabetes after I called the doctor to report that he was wetting through diapers overly frequently, and complaining of unquenchable thirst every day for two weeks. I was called at work, where I teach, in the middle of class by my pediatrician with the news. I held it together long enough to finish the lesson and see my students out the door, before I called my husband to tell him the news. We needed to go to the Children's hospital an hour away immediately to begin treatment and learn the dreaded "new normal."
Henry was unaware that we were going to the hospital or why, he was just happy to eat his lunch and take a nap in the back seat of the car.
When we got there he was less than pleased. Two weeks, almost to the day, Henry had stayed at this same hospital for five days while he healed from a MRSA infection, which we now know is related to his diabetes. During his last stay he was in a lot of pain from a large infection and had to have an IV. Before this visit, his last words to the nursing staff were, "Don't touch me!" Poor Henry had been through enough, but the sad truth is that his infection is the tip of the iceberg in terms of what he will have to endure the rest of his life as a diabetic.
The staff at this children's hospital are excellent, they spoke soothing words, about how awesome I am for calling the pediatrician and picking up on his odd behaviors, and how lucky we are that Henry wasn't extremely sick like their average diagnosed person. They spoke of how everything they will teach us in the next couple of days will become the new normal, and Henry will never know a world where he doesn't receive insulin with every meal. This will make our transition and lives so much easier than your average diagnosed juvenile.
Yank. Yank. The last thing I wanted to hear was that my child will never know a life without insulin! The last thing I wanted to hear is how lucky I am! The last thing I wanted to hear was that 10 pokes and prick a day will be the new normal! What I wanted to hear was that they had made a mistake, or that the doctor sent us as a precaution, but we don't really have diabetes!
I know the words I am about to choose sound juvenile, but this was all so unfair! No kid deserves to go through this, least of all my son who has a smile for everyone, and not a care in the world. He is kind, sure of himself, thinks everyone is a friend, and oh so loving!
I wanted nothing to do with this! I wanted to blink my eyes and have this be over. I felt helpless and cowardly for wishing my troubles away. The first night in the hospital I held my sleeping precious baby, and prayed, begged, and cried to the Mother of Perpetual Help. I mostly asked for strength and courage because it was what I needed in order to have hope that everything was going to be ok, but I would be lying if I said I didn't ask the Merciful Father to take Henry's suffering away, and ask for comfort.
Two days later my prayers were answered. God didn't take away the diabetes but He gave me the strength I needed though , and showed me how truly brave my little guy is. We had just got home from two days of training in the hospital and we were doubting if we could handle all the care that was required of us. Could we prick his precious fingers, and put shots in his adorable chubby thighs without nurses to help us through the hard parts? Could we be brave enough to do it on our own?
The first time we got out the blood glucose meter, without asking, Henry held out a finger. "Ouchy?" he inquired. "Yes, ouchie.", I replied. Yet he continued to offer me his outstretched hand. He is the bravest two year old I ever met. He trusted that,
a. I knew what I was doing, and
b. That I wasn't hurting him without a purpose.
c. He trusted I had a reason, a plan
He doesn't let diabetes fill him with fear. Through every insulin shot and blood sugar check he bravely offers up his ouchie for a kiss, and doesn't shed a tear. Henry trusts.
I can not say I have been as brave. During this ordeal I have questioned God's plan for my family, my Sweetie, even my own life. I have questioned his purpose in making my child suffer, and I sincerely doubted he knew what he was doing in giving me a kid with "handle with care" directions. I am still struggling emotionally and spiritually with our diagnosis, but as all diabetic mother's must do, I will keep calm and carry insulin, continue to pray, and watch the example of my innocents.
What I need to take away is Henry's lesson in being truly brave, and trust that my Father has a purpose and a plan in allowing diabetes in our life, even if it hurts.
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